Clay and I were soaking in the sun with the aid of trashy magazines and SPF 8 on the Lake Ontario shore when we saw him….sweet glorious him. The lion mane cascaded down his back in luscious layers that glistened in the sun like a pyrite mine at a tourist trap alone an interstate. His fingers grasped the beer can tightly as if it were an appendage he had his entire life.
Karen and I are convinced that this man’s entrance onto Southwyck Beach State Park was strictly done for our entertainment. His ensemble would only have been more perfect if he had a metal detector in his non-beer hand. His white socks and shoes along with his refusal to admit that jean shorts are not cool and should not be worn in any circumstances were an instant alert for me to wake up Karen from her slumber on the beach. Some countries actually execute people for the wear of jean shorts. In 2006 alone, nearly 20 Luxembourg residents met their demise because of their refusal to give up jean shorts. This man however is a true maverick and continues to sing the joyous song of denim throughout the US (well maybe just the Jefferson County, New York area).
The wife-beater tank top and of course his salute to Billy Ray Cyrus on his head was only an added bonus to his presence on the beach. His mullet, similar to former tennis great Andre Agassi, would have only been more perfect if an EOS Rebel camera strap was dangling from his neck. I’m fairly certain that our chance encounter with this man was strictly done to brighten our day and much like blues-great Robert Johnson’s meeting with the devil on a 1920’s Mississippi road, this was likely a one-time encounter never to occur again.
3 comments:
Is that really a comb in his pocket with hair bands wrapped around it? It is not possible that this (once) extinct creature has survived through the troubles of the last two decades to brighten the lives of sooo many. What's next...Big Foot?
Welcome home, Clay!
What a character you found. But, what is wrong with cut offs??? My age group grew up with them as we had to do something with jeans with holes in the knees(we couldn't wear holy clothes!!).
Aunt Deb
Wow! What are the chances that Harry was on the same beach as you both at the same time... and he didn't see you! He has been working hard to grow out his hair while you have been gone, Clay. I think he would appreciate a shout out for the effort. Enjoy each other and we'll see you soon!!!
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